I AM THAT MOM: Jane

I am THAT Mom who needs to get a grip and give herself a little credit, and maybe a break.

I thought this was the one thing I would be best at, after all everyone said I was such a nurturer and I am ‘built’ for this job. I had never held a baby, changed a diaper, or spent more than 10 minutes in a room with one. I am still waiting for those 'natural instincts' to kick in and rescue me from my frantic daily life...any minute now. Even though motherhood has proven to be more of a challenge than I initially thought, I still expect my 4 year-old to behave perfectly in public.

I am the tattooed, concert t-shirt wearing mother that you see in the grocery store pushing her standing child around in the cart; as he warns you about the certain death cigarettes will give you. I am the one that answers all of my child’s questions with unyielding frankness, resulting in my child’s insane amount of information and lack of internal filter. I am the one who believes in honesty, while I may only give Cheetah the information he presently needs, I will be the one he can always count on for ‘telling it like it is’.

I am the mother that has introduced her child to the ‘greats’ of the music industry: Janis Joplin, Al Green, Tammy Wynette, Lynyrd Skynyrd, Kenny Rogers, Run DMC, Beastie Boys, and Peter Frampton. I have chosen to make music a large part of his formative years; it’s always playing in the background with my singing back-up. I am preparing myself for my moment in the sun, when my child stands up in front of the world and thanks me for making him who he is ‘today’; I don’t care if it’s at the Grammy’s, Oscar’s, Espy’s, Boy Scout’s Award Ceremony, or the Tony’s…I just want him to love me for the childhood I strive so hard to perfect for him.

I only allow chores for a total of 4 hours on the weekend and only 1 chore a weeknight so I get more time with the boy. I am the mother who puts her child in his bed every night but always lets him sneak in my bed if he’s scared in the middle of the night. I may rely on packaged meals 2 nights a week but I always serve them with a side of sliced apple and fresh carrots or green beans. I am stunning even when I have candy in my hair, when I am fishing toys out of the toilet or when I’m covered in vomit. I am smart, funny and I feel like accomplished when Cheetah laughs and sings along with me. I am Momma, hear me roar.