Is it crazy to say that I have never really had an image in my brain of what kind of mother I would be?
Sure, sure I said the typical, "My child will not drink from a bottle past her first birthday."
Or the, "My child will never, never, EVER take a nu-nu."
But those were just things things I had heard countless others say were "bad" for my (then unborn) children. Isn't that what every good parent is supposed to say their perfect child won't do?
All I know is that for as long as I can remember, I have wanted to be a mother.
A stay-at-home mother.
Those three little words were very important to me and key to the kind of mother I wanted to be.
It is, in fact, probably the only thing I had really planned out for this mothering gig.
Over the past four plus years on the job, I have learned that....
I am that mom who's house is house is at all times in some state of MESS. Try as I might, keeping it even 90% presentable at all times wears. me. out. I am a huge fan of McCall's "fake clean," but there are some days where the house is so bad that even that isn't possible.
I am getting better at keeping the house somewhat neater,
but something tells me having baby #3 join our family might set that back just a touch.
I am that mom who, as the third "neglected" child with very few photos taken of me as a baby, swore I would never miss capturing a moment of my children's lives.
I am going to go out on a limb here, but I think at 87,210 photo files (and counting!)
and 1,790 blog posts over three years I might have taken that pledge a touch too far.
I am that mom who realized God has a very good sense of humor and everything I dished out to my mother, I am getting back ten fold from my two little divas. I FEAR the teenage years. I am praying that by then God will have made His point and our divas will be perfect angels like their daddy.
One can dream, right?
I am that mom who will let her children do just about anything (as long as it is safe!) if it means belly laughs and that sense of pure joy that can only come from a child having fun. I don't do it so I can be the "Fun Mom" or because I want my kids to think I'm "cool." They know I am so not that mom.
No, I do it because in high school I learned the hard way that life is not always a guarantee. In three short years I buried five friends. They taught me that I need to live each day as if it were my last. To cherish the simple joys in life.
To let my kids cover themselves in..
...because all those things will wash off. But the memories, those precious smiles and sweet giggles, will forever be burned into my mind. Those are moments I will cherish forever.
I know I'm not perfect. Sometimes I lose my temper, react poorly to a situation, or say the wrong thing. Some days I'm too strict, others too soft.
Motherhood (well, parenthood) is by far the hardest job in the world.
There is no perfect answer or method.
No perfect child.
There are ups and downs, twists and turns, and everything in between.
There are days when I feel like a failure
and others when I actually feel like I can pat myself on the back for a job well done.
I am just thankful for the chance to be a mother - not once, not twice, but three times over.
I am thankful for each day God gives my family together on this earth.
I am that mom.