Actually, I'm not all that awesome, but thanks for suggesting it

Today it happened. 

The moment I was half dreading/half expecting/half hoping would never happen....wait, that's three halves. Clearly I was an English major. 

By this I mean, today was the first time someone said something directly to me in a negative way about our white family adopting a black baby. 

Long story short: 

I was out running errands, and a lady I didn't know asked me how many children I have.

 I told her I have two girls and am adopting another girl. 

She replied with a big smile on her face (she's a clearly a fan of adoption, that one). 

She then asked the question that always follows the adoption announcement: where from?

I said Congo....she had a kind of blank look on her face at this point...

pretty sure she wasn't 100% sure that Congo is in Africa, so I clarified and said, "That's in Africa."

It was all downhill from there. 

Her eyes got big. 

Her forehead crinkled up. 

She looked like she had just tasted something sour. 

And she said, "Ohhhhhhhhhhhhh, you must be a really awesome person."

Seriously. 

And why is that exactly? 

I think it was pretty awesome when I passed both Shakespeare I and II in college (both with A's, I might add), without ever having fully read one of his plays. (Confession: I have since read LOTS of his plays, and LOVE them dearly. But I was taking way too many English questions and reading way too many things in college, so Willy Shake had to wait. Don't judge). 

I think it's pretty awesome that I can remember everything....when we met, what you were wearing, what we talked about, and the name of your dog. Seriously, I have  crazy scary memory. I have to reel it in from time to time to keep from looking like a total stalker. I ALWAYS remember more about a person than he or she remembers about me. 

Maybe I'm just not all that memorable;

 I prefer to think that my memory is just extra-ordinary. 

I think it's awesome that I've been hit by a car....twice...with no broken bones or major injuries....

and lived to tell about it. 

I even think it's awesome that I can juggle....a lot.... and I'm not talking about the clown kind of juggling.

 I'm talking about my time management skills.

 They border on awesome sometimes....until my plate gets so full that I get totally overwhelmed 

and all the balls coming falling down around me. 

But, for brief periods of time, they are pretty awesome.

However, I don't think that me following God's call to take care of His daughter makes me awesome.

 I DO think it makes me obedient.

 But awesome? 

Not so much. 

We are all called to do different things.

 We all have different gifts. 

And just because what God has called me to do makes some people a little uncomfortable, 

this doesn't make me any awesome-er than anyone else. 

And it's a scary, dangerous thing believing that people have to be AWESOME to adopt any child, 

black white or otherwise. 

If we all sitting around waiting until we feel awesome to take action, 

absolutely nothing will ever get done. 

I can't help but wonder how many couples are sitting in their dens right now,

 talking about adoption, feeling the call, and convincing themselves that they are inadequate. 

More importantly, I can't help but think about those children sitting in orphanages waiting for families...

who are sitting at home not feeling awesome enough to adopt them. 

Want to know what I do think is awesome? 

The fact that out of all the women in the whole wide world, God picked little ole' me to be Emily's mom. 

Now that, my friends, is so awesome that I can't stop smiling and haven't slept well since we announced our adoption. It has nothing to do with being overwhelmed or stressed, and everything to do with being so stinkin' excited to be right where God wants me to be. 

It doesn't get much more awesome than that.