Friday, May 3, 2013

The Trouble with Blogging

There are so many things to love about blogging. 
There are also things that cause me to make faces like this and say things like SERIOUSLY!?! and YOU'VE GOT TO BE KIDDING!

Like I've said before, I blog for three reasons:

-to document life for my kiddos
-to advocate for things I'm passionate about
-to form relationships and connect with others

Here's where the trouble comes into play. 

Obviously when we write blog posts, we put our best foot forward. 
We only take pictures of the clean parts of our house.
We choose not to use the unflattering pictures (this post is obviously not an example of this).
We leave out the details about yelling at our kiddos, have laundry stacked up for days, and needing to vacuum...desperately. 

We make our homes, our kiddos, and our marriages seem as appealing as possible. 

Not only is this an unrealistic picture of our lives, but it's downright dangerous. 

I hate to think of some mom out there struggling to take a shower today and crying over her cold coffee, thinking to herself, "Why I can't be as organized as so and so?" 
Or, "If only my house/clothes/kids were as cute as hers".

Danger. Danger. Danger. 

There is also the risk of utter disappointment. 

Take, for example, this scenario: 

Girl reads blog. 
Girl comes to love blogger. 
Girl relates to her, understands her, and feels she is speaking her language. 
Girl comes to view said blogger as a friend of sorts. 
Girl doesn't know everything about blogger's life and beliefs, but fills in the unknowns as she chooses, assuming that because they have the same views on this and this and this, that they must have the same views on other important things as well. 
Then one day, said blogger Girl so admires lays it all out there: she believes in God but not really. She acknowledges He exists but doesn't chose to live her life according to His word or moral standards. 
Girls watches as the bubble she's been living in blows up in her face. 

This happened to me recently. 
I am that Girl...the one who filled in the blanks about one of her favorite blogger's life and was recently utterly disappointed. 

It's not that I don't believe in freedom of religion. 
It's not that I don't believe that people who aren't Christians can't be awesome friends, moms, wives, and people. 

What bothers me about this blogger and her recent admissions that her kids should define themselves based on what they do and how they act and how she sees them rather than based on how God made them and His guidelines for their life is that this sets the stage for all of these people who so admire her to simply believe her rather than deciding for themselves. 

When we put a blogger or a speaker or an actress or a political figure in a larger than life bubble is that we tend to take the HUMAN out of them, so to speak. 

We tend to think that their values and thoughts and opinions somehow mean more than others. 
We somehow often believe that because these people are successful in some area of life they must know something we don't. 

And then when our bubble we've put them in bursts, we are terribly disappointed. 

I looked up to this blogger. 
I admired her. 
She's a seemingly great mom. 
She's fun. 
And there's no denying her talent. 

But I totally disagree with her stance on this. 

While I want my girls to recognize their own strengths, gifts,and talents, I also want them to recognize who GAVE them those strengths, gifts, and talents. 
I want them to thank God and realize He is a part of every aspect of their lives. 
Without Him, they would not exist; without Him, we all are nothing. 

I'm not saying that simply because I disagree with her that she's no longer a great mom, or lots of fun, or very talented. 

I'm simply saying there's danger in bubbles. 

*For the record, I realize that I failed to mention the name of the blogger who recently burst my bubble. It wasn't on accident. I'm not trying to speak negatively of her blog. It is still just as beautiful and thought provoking and well written as it was before I came to this realization. She just serves as one example of how I believe that we are only to care about what God thinks and says; those who are successful DON'T have all the answers or know some grand life secret we aren't aware matter how adorable their blogs are.*


  1. Yep, I happen to feel exactly the same way about one such blogger who I've been following a while. I got deflated. :-( Probably the same (and very popular) said blogger.

  2. such an important post! I'm so sorry that this happened to you but I love what you have learned from this experience and the fact that you're sharing the lesson for all of us too. Thanks for the honesty!

  3. I have been guilty of all of the above! Don't know why I feel the need to compare myself as a person and as a mother! I completely agree with you---very dangerous!


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