I didn't grow up wanting to be a mom. I grew up hearing that success was not measured by your family, but by your achievement in society. All the adults I knew had 4 or 5 letters after their name, designating some important degree or level of success. And that's what I thought I would do. What I dreamed of doing. It wasn't that I didn't want kids; its that I never thought about it. A family wasn't on my radar.
Law school was, as was the highest level of success in my chosen sport, soccer. Contributions to society that were measurable- those were the things I needed to chase after.
But unbeknownst to me, God was working HIS plan, in HIS time, on HIS terms. And HIS plan for me didn't include the things that my small world told me to strive for. And when He got a hold of me, He took everything that I counted as important and made it as nothing.
And the things I had never considered before? They became the central focus of my life.
So instead of courtrooms and power suits, I spend my days knee deep in finger paint and dirty diapers. Because while my plan didn't allow for children, God's included 3 in 3 years, with a 4th coming this Summer.
So I'm that Mom.
The one who rushes in to preschool still in her workout clothes to drop off the lunch that we forgot at home.
The one who would rather play for an extra five minutes than sweep the floors.
The one who lets her kids go to bed dirty rather than fight about bath time after a really long day.
But I'm a mom. A MOM. Entrusted with tiny little lives for the purpose of shaping and molding their characters and introducing them to Jesus. And some days I long for the life I thought I wanted, because it seems less complicated. Because this mom thing- its hard. HARD. Really hard! (Might have locked myself in the bathroom this week and cried, HARD). But I can usually get back to this place- the one where God whispers "Emily, I began a GOOD work in you and I am going to be FAITHFUL to complete it" And I'm clinging to that in this season of diapers and sleepless nights. Because while I could have done some good in the life I wanted, my little arrows are going to be world changers. And that is worth all the worldly success I thought I needed. Plus, the clothes are way more comfortable; because some days I don't have to get out of my pajamas.
*If you'd like to read more and follow Emily in her adventures as a mom, you can do so here.*