I Am That Mom: Ashley

Hi there!! I am Ashley, a Southern California mama of two littles working on bringing home our son or daughter from Ethiopia...

When McCall asked me to guest post during her "I'm That Mom" series, I was all over it. I am so excited to be here. McCall and I are both Ambassadors for Noonday Collection and so that means that our hearts basically beat for the same things: Jesus, being a voice for the oppressed, adoption, family, and fashion, baby. What I forgot to tell McCall when I signed up to post was that I have "helium hand." Yep, it's that hand that raises slowly to volunteer yourself no matter who is asking what. You need someone to pick up you kid from school? Helium hand. You need someone to be team rep for the t-ball team? Helium hand. You need someone to bake 500 cupcakes and deliver them across town at 5 AM? Okay, so maybe I don't volunteer for that one, but you get the idea. My point is, I am in a season of over-extension and poor McCall has had to wait for me to buckle down and get this post done, once and for all. So thank you, girl, for your grace and here I am. I'm going to get. this. post. done. Boom.

Motherhood. Okay. Where is God leading my heart on motherhood right now? This is actually an easy one for me this month. It's right here: Discipleship.

I was fortunate enough to attend a conference this month called MomHeart by Whole Heart Ministries. And it was life-giving. A breath of fresh air that gave me an entirely new and direly needed perspective on motherhood: this most important job God has given me to do. There are about ten posts I could write inspired by the information I took from this conference, but here is are the basics.

God has not left us uninformed on how to do the MOST important job he's given us to do. Often when we feel lost or stumped or exacerbated, we look for book and formulas and systems. But we have something eternally better--the Holy Spirit. "But the Helper, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in My name, He will teach you ALL THINGS and bring to your remembrance all that I have said to you." John 14: 26

We have the freedom and grace to parent by faith. What does this look like? It looks like partnering with God each day to discern our child's individual needs, personalties, and issues of the heart. Often we get caught up on undesirable behavior and want to squash and it squash it quick. But do we take time to really look at the issue of the heart?

For instance, and I'm gonna give it to you real here, I would say 90% of the times that my 3 year old displays undesirable behavior is when I am distracted as a parent. Like a good friend of mine put it: "Mommy is distracted and you aren't appreciating that... go sit in time out!" Man, this is convicting for me. So often, our kids just want our attention. Other times, they have needs... such as, "Is this child defiant or just hungry? Does he need time-out or simply a nap? Is he being rebellious or am I? Is this a battle I need to win because I need his heart to follow Christ in this situation, or am I simply being prideful and want him to obey my every word?"

There is a certain brand of hyper my son gets when he is flat-out exhausted. I like to call it the storm before the calm. I know a lot of parents that would see him in those moments and see it as defiance and recommend time-out or a spank... but this mama knows, "He's exhausted." Sometimes we feel like we are excusing poor behavior, and I'm sure there are times when we could, but other times you just know your baby! It's a mother's intuition.

Another thing that struck me is how often we react to undesirable behavior and think that our reaction is enough to teach what we expect. And this just isn't so. We need to intentionally teach them what we desire them to know. If we want them to speak with manners, we must show our babies manners. If we want them to be gracious, we must show them grace. If we want them to be Christ followers, they must see us as we follow Him.

Grace and truth are not mutually exclusive. You don't have to choose between love and wisdom. We can have both and we can give both to our children. The embodiment of both in one is Christ. And that is the greatest command and privilege of our jobs as mamas--to truly disciple our children to know and follow Jesus. How often do we wake up and see the dawning of a new day as a new opportunity to pour into our children? We have the opportunity to cooperate with the God of the universe to mold these precious little humans he has put in our care. We can set out to shape their hearts. And no one can do a better job at mothering the children God has given you then you---He created you to be their mama!!! And to raise them to bring Him glory. See what I'm talking about---this perspective makes me feel pumped to get up in the morning and be my kids' mommy.

Sally Clarkson posed a couple of questions to us: Do our children look at us and see a mama who's heart is on fire? Do they see a mama who is truly alive in a way they desire? Do we make our babies feel alive? Are we building a home that reflects a kingdom built for the Lord, or one built for this world? Hard questions... good questions to motivate us. I want my kids to remember me as truly alive... heart emblazoned for the Lord.

Now, not all days are good days. And we are sinful women and our kids are sinful kids and if we are not kind and forgiving of one another and doing this parenting thing in community, man, we are in for a lot of frustration. So let's always remember to give grace to one another and grace to ourselves. AND GRACE TO OUR KIDS. "You have given me the shield of Your salvation, And your right hand upholds me; And your GENTLENESS makes me great." Psalm 18:35

Sarah Mae spoke and shared that just like us, our babies are clay in the Potter's hands. We can do lots of things, but only God can mold a soul. Let's trust that God will finish the work He has begun in us and let's believe that He will finish the work He has begun in our children.  Through Christ's sacrifice on the cross, we are perfect in the eyes of heaven. Let's live with the freedom  we have in Jesus... let's mother with grace, wisdom, and the Holy Spirit. Let's feed ourselves with truth daily so we have truth to pour out. Let's accept the grace given to us so we can pour out grace.

Thank you, McCall for inviting me over!!! I hope that wasn't too all over the place. Seriously, there was so much wisdom shared at this conference that it would take me weeks to share it all. I can not recommend MomHeart enough if you have the opportunity to attend. And in the meantime, you can visit the MomHeart blog, Sally's blog, and Sarah Mae, too. And I'm over at Love Makes a Family if you'd like to stop by and follow our adoption journey.

I Am That Mom: Emily

 I didn't grow up wanting to be a mom. I grew up hearing that success was not measured by your family, but by your achievement in society. All the adults I knew had 4 or 5 letters after their name, designating some important degree or level of success. And that's what I thought I would do. What I dreamed of doing. It wasn't that I didn't want kids; its that I never thought about it. A family wasn't on my radar.

     Law school was, as was the highest level of success in my chosen sport, soccer. Contributions to society that were measurable- those were the things I needed to chase after.

     But unbeknownst to me, God was working HIS plan, in HIS time, on HIS terms. And HIS plan for me didn't include the things that my small world told me to strive for. And when He got a hold of me, He took everything that I counted as important and made it as nothing.

     And the things I had never considered before? They became the central focus of my life.

So instead of courtrooms and power suits, I spend my days knee deep in finger paint and dirty diapers. Because while my plan didn't allow for children, God's included 3 in 3 years, with a 4th coming this Summer.

So I'm that Mom.

The one who rushes in to preschool still in her workout clothes to drop off the lunch that we forgot at home.

The one who would rather play for an extra five minutes than sweep the floors.

The one who lets her kids go to bed dirty rather than fight about bath time after a really long day.

But I'm a mom. A MOM. Entrusted with tiny little lives for the purpose of shaping and molding their characters and introducing them to Jesus. And some days I long for the life I thought I wanted, because it seems less complicated. Because this mom thing- its hard. HARD. Really hard! (Might have locked myself in the bathroom this week and cried, HARD). But I can usually get back to this place- the one where God whispers "Emily, I began a GOOD work in you and I am going to be FAITHFUL to complete it" And I'm clinging to that in this season of diapers and sleepless nights. Because while I could have done some good in the life I wanted, my little arrows are going to be world changers. And that is worth all the worldly success I thought I needed. Plus, the clothes are way more comfortable; because some days I don't have to get out of my pajamas. 

*If you'd like to read more and follow Emily in her adventures as a mom, you can do so here.*

I AM THAT MOM: Ashley

Life with a newborn was certainly an adjustment. Instantaneously a new mother becomes the overseer of hundreds of new crucial details. You can't even imagine how crucial some of the details are until experience shows you. So you end up learning a lot. And forgetting a lot. And laughing and crying a lot.

 When Miss C was around 2 months old, I lost my keys. I turned the house upside down looking for them. I had a spare set so I spent a couple days utilizing it with the hopes that the other set would turn up. It didn't, so I ventured to Home Depot to have some keys copied so I'd have two sets again. A couple more days passed and the beautiful early summer sun turned to rain. I was itching to get out of the house so I settled for a walk through the mall. Upon parking I got out, walked to the back of my car to open the trunk to get the stroller out. Lo and behold my keys were dangling from the key hole. They'd been residing there for about a week. I had been driven myself mad looking for them. I had driven my car all over town running errands, and yet there they had stayed. I had become that mom.

 The newborn phase is rough, because where your attention was once captivated by many things, all of a sudden you're just really focused on getting a good feeding in. Why should I also have to know where I left my keys? For a while I have been drafting a post on all the things I'd like to say to a new mother but have not been able to organize my thoughts into words. In the process of becoming a mom I was surprised by how much the Holy Spirit was showing me about learning to sow gratefulness and contentment in my heart. I was hormonal (a google commercial made me sob), tired, stressed out by the laundry, and often felt lonely and isolated because my husband was super busy and I was just home- living in 2 hour cycles.

 It's amazing how forgetful we really are - and I'm talking more than losing keys. The greatest tragedy of my life was losing a child in miscarriage, and since that day I had longed to hold my child in my arms. Now I had been given that child and I'd catch myself running a lengthy list of things I was unhappy about. There are days where I want to retreat from all my responsibilities, and then there are days I find myself so grateful that as my husband's wife and daughter's mother I have the gift to set a certain tone in our home. I'm grateful for the power in God's word, and for being in Christ because it enables me to change. In reading Ephesians today I was struck by Paul's directions in Chapter 5, and how apt it is that these verses precede the section of Instructions for Households In Christ.

  ¹⁵ Be very careful, then, how you live—not as unwise but as wise, ¹⁶ making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil. ¹⁷ Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the Lord’s will is...Sing and make music from your heart to the Lord, always giving thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.

If I could go back to that hazy newborn stage I would preach the above to myself, with great urgency.


 

Many thanks to my Noonday sister McCall, who invited me to be a guest blogger on her own blog, for a series entitled "I Am that Mom" ...If you want to keep up with ministry life in New York, visit www.suttersaga.com where I'm normally found!

I Am That Mom: Amber

My name is Amber. I'm excited to share a little of my story with you today. I am a mother of two precious children. Sometimes I'm still in shock that I can use that word to describe me--mother--a word that at times seemed just out of reach. A word that seemed like it would never be a descriptor of Amber.

A couple years after I married my handsome husband (sometimes I call him "hot husband" but he really hates that), I convinced him that we needed to start trying to have children. You see I had this feeling even then that this wasn't going to be an easy road for us. He was not so sure about that, but realized quickly that the trying was fun and we threw caution to the wind. My initial fears were founded and it did not come so easily to us. I was devastated each and every month. I'll shorten that long dramatic story for you and tell you that several years later we began the adoption process to adopt through a domestic infant program.  We adopted an amazing little boy in the Spring of 2009.  You can read all about that story here.  We adopted a precious baby girl this past fall and you can read her story here.

My path to parenthood was wrought with a range of emotions, endless tears, fears and years of waiting.  I know, dramatic. Because of all this drama, I somehow told myself I would feel different than all these other moms that happened upon motherhood so easily.  I would never complain about my lack of sleep.  I would revel in it.  I would never snap at my child because I would just be soaking in every little minute of my time with them.  I would love crafts and spend my days finding new crafts to do.  Preschool?  Why oh why would I waste precious money on that?  I mean seriously, my child would be brilliant, because I would read to him and teach him from the very minute he was born. And those little electronic games? For the love--No child of mine would play with those lazy devices. TV? Babies and children watching TV -- NEVER. And the list goes on and on. My mind can't even contain the ideas that my brain filled up in all those years of waiting and watching other people parent. 

I would say that I didn't judge other people about the above things, but I just thought my child's life would be different.  You know, since I wanted and prayed so hard for it.  And the list goes on and on.  My mind can't even contain the ideas that my brain filled up in all those years of waiting and watching other people parent. 

If you are a mother, you can imagine how all those ideals, expectations and dreams vanished in the wind just like a little dandelion.  

I realized that this mothering thing will be the most difficult thing I will ever experience and will continue experiencing for the rest of my time on earth.

I became the mommy of an adorable newborn baby boy, who really did nap well and started sleeping through the night fairly early.  Nah, the lack of sleep didn't bother me.  I was still wondering what the moms were talking about being soo tired.  

I was eventually made aware that I had the most energetic baby boy I had ever met.  When he started crawling at five months and walking at nine months, I realized my life was O V E R!  

I became that mom who let her child watch television.  

When my son turned two, I became that mom who sent her son to preschool/daycare to go back to work a few days a week. I was devastated to leave him, but was a little embarrassed when I realized that I kinda enjoyed that he did so many crafts at school.  

I became that mom who hated crafts.  It wasn't my natural gift and I was so relieved when he had that creative outlet at school.  Since then I have embraced the kid craft thing due to the amount of time it will keep him from playing human pinball around my house when the baby is trying to sleep.  

And sadly, I became that mom who snapped at her child and raised her voice.  More times than I wish, I have had to ask my son to forgive me.  

When the second little bundle of joy came along, my eyes were opened to the exhaustion . That mom zombie-like exhaustion of having two children.  When one sleeps the other doesn't.  When the baby sleeps through the night, you three year old definitely won't.  You fall asleep in the dentist chair, at any given time during the day and you aren't always that smiley cheerful mom first thing in the morning.

I became that mom  who secretly loves the LeapPad because of my son's new-found ability to stay in his room for rest time to play with it.  Besides all the games are educational, right?  

And little by little, I've come to realize that all of us mothers are fighting a battle for our children's hearts. That no matter what path led us to motherhood, the emotions and struggles are the same. I realized that most of us moms do want what is best for our children.  I needed to climb off my judgmental soapbox of  "I wanted to be a mom more than you" and show love and mercy to all the other moms. I came to realize that I am in need of God's grace every moment of every day as a mom.  I often attempt to start my day without Him in it and am surprised when everything goes to crap before lunch time.  

I just began reading the book, Desperate, by Sarah Mae and Sally Clarkson.  My favorite part in the Introduction of the book was this, 

Down to the bone, to the deepest part of my soul, is the love 

I have for my children. Every day of my life is imperfectly offered 

to them. But the little years, they’re hard and oftentimes lonely. 

It’s like a secret we fear sharing, just how life-altering motherhood 

is, especially when you don’t have training or support. Let me pull 

back the curtain on the idea that just because you love and are 

thankful to be a mother, parenting will come easily or naturally. 

The lifetime commitment that is motherhood will, many days, 

stretch you beyond what you think you can handle."

Absolutely profound.  I encourage any mom of littles to read this book. It is amazing.  I hope you will embrace your amazing gift of motherhood and give yourself grace and forgiveness as you lean on Him for daily strength.

In closing, I thought I'd share a word that I am focusing on in 2013: Mercy.
Go here to read about my word of the year! 

Speak and act as those who are going to be judged by the law that gives freedom, because judgment without mercy will be shown to anyone who has not been merciful. Mercy triumphs over judgment.

 (James 2:12, 13 NIV)

If you'd like to follow Amber in her adventures through motherhood, you can find her blog here or follow the link via her button on my sidebar. 

I Am That Mom: Shannon

I am that mom... that thought I had life all figured out. I had a perfect plan, and that plan included THREE kids. My husband agreed. He had 3 kids in his family, I had 3 kids in my family. Perfect, right? Well imagine my surprise when my third pregnancy resulted in TWINS!

I cried and cried when the ultrasound tech said "There are TWO babies in there!"

I was 20 weeks pregnant and I had NO CLUE. Seriously. At home we had a little boy who was 3 and a little girl who was 17 months old. I think it's fair to say that it was one of the craziest, scariest, most overwhelming days of my life! I was thinking about this ONE baby, planning for this one baby, and buying everything for our family based on just 3 kids (big things like our car and little things like our stocking holders)! One minute you think you know how your life is going to go, and then the next minute it's totally different. It's scary, and it's wonderful! Isn't that what makes life worth living... never knowing what's around the corner. For me personally it was a very spiritual experience. It was God speaking in his very loud Old Testament voice, "Shannon, you have no idea what's best... I know what's best." The whole process of a baby being formed in the womb, which has always awed me, was even more impressive when I had a front seat to witness two babies growing inside me.

Life with 4 young kids has been nothing short of CRAZY!  The first year was absolutely insane.  There was time in the NICU (the twins were born at 34 weeks).  There were 3 kids in diapers.  Triple strollers.  Tandem breastfeeding.  Sleepless nights and zombie-like days.  Mountains of laundry, dishes, and baby food jars.  Trying to figure out how to grocery shop with 4 little ones (2 in carriers) or just get everyone in and out of the car!  There were times I felt so isolated and so STUCK at home while outside the world kept turning.

As the twins approach age 2, our house is still Crazy Town, population 6. It's messy, covered in toys, and there's peanut butter on the walls.  If you walk in at any given moment, you'll probably hear at least 3 kids crying, and I can't guarantee there won't be a kid pooping on the floor.  But there's also lots of laughter and lots of love. I really wouldn't have it any other way!  

I have to say that having twins was the best thing that ever happened to me. Not just because they're super cute and make our family complete, but because I've been set FREE from my plans!   I can trust God knowing that His way is FAR better than mine!!!

If you'd like to learn more about Shannon and her journey as a mom here. 

I Am That Mom: Audra

My Mom used to say, “ You should be able to throw away the first child and start over.” She didn’t mean it LITERALLY! She was referring to the fact that with your first child you are learning as you go and when the next child(ren) comes along, you are more prepared. Rest assured, our oldest child is alive and well and on his way to adulthood. However, we have found that we have learned a lot over the last (almost) seventeen years of parenting.

I am a mother of five children (three homegrown, two born of my heart). Bob and I got married young-ish (barely into our 20^th year of life!) and wanted to have children fairly fast. We waited three years, but felt strongly that we wanted our children to be born soon enough to really KNOW our parents and to have a strong relationship with them. So, child number one, our oldest son, was born and we started this thing called parenting. He ruled the roost. Not literally, we had boundaries, but I wish we had been more intentional about the teaching part, the training. The only REAL training we did was potty training! We were not necessarily permissive, just very flexible.

Fast forward to five kids. Over time we have come to see our role as parents as our divine calling. For this season in our lives, our highest priority is to raise our children. What’s on the list of lessons?? We have determined that our children will leave our home (rumor is that this happens eventually) with some specific character traits and abilities. They will have a knowledge of God and hopefully a relationship with Him. They will be people of integrity, able to live independently and be employable. They will know how to: plan, shop for, and prepare a balanced meal, make a bed, do their own laundry, clean a bathroom and run a vacuum, compromise when necessary, make an apology, serve others, show compassion, be thankful, be content, and stand up for what is right.

 How in the world, in the busy-ness of life, do we get this done? It is a daily effort. We don’t sit down and have lectures or lessons, but it is acted out in our every breath. We demonstrate through real-life opportunities. Every Saturday, the kids clean the house. They have come to the point that they divide it up cooperatively (believe me it didn’t start so congenially!) and get the job done. They each have a day of the week (convenient with five kids) that is THEIR day. On their day, they do their laundry, set the dinner table and say the prayer at dinner. After dinner, the rest of the kids clear the table. With five kids, you can imagine that some topics get more attention than others… like apologizing! One situation that can be difficult to teach/demonstrate is saying sorry for something you don’t think you did wrong. For example, Kid #1 makes a playful remark that Kid #2 isn’t in the mood to receive and therefore is offended… Kid #1 didn’t intend for the comment to be mean! Kid#2 shouldn’t be so sensitive. Perceptions. Teaching Kid#1 to say “sorry you were offended by my comment, I didn’t mean it to sound like that” is TOUGH! However, this is a valuable skill. This skill alone will mend broken relationships throughout his/her life!

I suppose the TAKE AWAY from this is that as parents, we have a great BIG job! We have to make MAXIMUM impact in a relatively SHORT amount of time. My suggestion… if you are asking… 

                            S L O W   D O W N .... 

 Be LESS busy. Pull out of some activities (your and the kids’) that are complicating your schedule so that you have the availability to take advantage of opportunities. 

 The moments are there to have that MAXIMUM impact, don’t let them pass you by.

God Bless,

Audra

**Thanks to McCall for the opportunity to be linked up!  She is a fellow World Changer and I just love her!**

You can read more about Audra and her life as a mom (and fellow Noonday world changer here). 

I Am That Mom: Heather

My name is Heather. I have a son and a daughter- age three and a half and a 10 month old son. I worked as a nurse prior to having children. My oldest 2 were born extremely premature, and my youngest has a traumatic birth story. Nevermind their rocky starts though: I believe my sweet babies are the most awe inspiring beings I've ever seen and I spend countless moments in quiet thanks each day that I get to be here, with them, helping them become the very best individuals they can. My oldest little stinkers recently got glasses:

 

My little guy felt a little left out of all the excitement:

 

(we now call him our "seeing eye baby" - cutie poo with a job to do:) 

 

 Parenting is a funny thing - there are made up terms and abbreviations that seem utterly ridiculous to me- crunchy? scrunchy? silky? attachment parenting (as opposed to detachment parenting?) ...and the arguments among women...people... Many of them start as a simple statement of fact: "breastfeeding is the healthiest (feeding) choice for a baby and mother"; and turn into full blown bitter and heart wrenching battles laced with personal ballads about medical road blocks, lack of support and the ever present, "I turned out ok and was formula fed - and I tried to breast feed for the first ___weeks and my kid isn't any healthier than the kid down the street," and on and on.

Then the flip side: I breast fed for decades and it was Heaven on earth beautiful and anyone can do it if they just think positive thoughts and have good juju. So here's the thing (emotions aside): It (human breast milk) is the healthiest dietary option (for human babies). There is no argument - this mammal's milk is better (again, medically speaking) for that mammal's offspring just doesn't make sense (would you say that a cow should be fed goat milk? would the cow survive? - probably - and do well? sure (of course that's a relative term)! is it the best option? no. Will a baby fed it's mother's milk (EVER) get sick? yes. Will said baby be of genius mental capacity and spared any and all developmental hardships because his mother fed him as long as mutually agreeable? no. Will it be easy just because the woman has breasts and is genetically engineered to feed her young? no - it takes work. Just like all other aspects of raising children. I believe there is an obvious medical need for an alternative infant food source (formula or, preferably, donor milk that is widely accessible) - the price of which need not be increased by rampant advertising and coupon pushing. I believe in doing the best we can with the information at hand - and acknowledge that said information is expanding, changing and growing in ways we simply can't predict. I breast feed because it's a normal concept and practice (to me) - because it just makes sense with respect to health. I pumped for my older 2 children for (just under) 3 years. It was a monumental task to build my milk supply after having our babies at 24 weeks gestation. However, I felt lucky to have the opportunity and access to the medical technology that made it possible: 1. for us to bring 2 of our little ones home and 2. for me to even have the opportunity to produce the milk in the first place via reeeealy nice pumping equipment. My youngest is still exclusively nursing at 10 months and counting (but for some fun tastes of things every so often). It's what we do and it works for us.

 I cloth diaper. At one point, I had 3 children in diapers. It just made good financial sense.

 My kids wear amber necklaces because I bought them as a last resort to alleviate teething and temper issues...and as it turns out, those darn things work!

 I make our own bread. Quite frankly, it's easier than bringing the kids to the grocery - and it tastes better - and I use a bread machine. It's the ultimate in lazy: 5 ingredients, press "on" - done.

 I cook - from scratch - whole foods. I buy local first, organic second and decide whether or not we really *need* the rest. I am constantly looking for new foods to try - and my ever supportive hubby is usually up for the (food) challenge of the evening. My sweet babies help me in the kitchen. I want them to be unafraid of food and be able to listen to their body's needs vs. wants or time schedules. I don't think cookies, cakes and junk are a necessary "part of childhood". I do think that it's part of tradition and nostalgic for most adults. My children are, by no means deprived of all things colorful and fun. It just comes in other forms in our house: fruits, veggies, and the very occasional treat.

We have off days or weeks - but typically it's MY cravings or a change in routine that throw us off - not their requests...Our diet is a work in progress; a really fun work in progress. The body is an amazing thing - hilariously simple in physical structure; deceivingly complex in chemical make up. I firmly believe that, in most cases, we are our own limiting force.

 I tell my children every day: I love you, you can do anything. I believe it. Their potential is great, the possibilities, endless. It is their choice (see statement above), but it is my responsibility to offer them tools and positive support so that they know and believe they are so loved no matter what, and that they have "anything" as an option. I am a sucker for educational toys. Seriously, I should be embarrassed about the sheer number of "abc and 123" options we have in our house. But, instead, I just encourage the kids to use what we have and engage their imaginations as often as possible. I embrace and enjoy the slight chaos that is having 3 under 3 at home because it keeps me from fully developing my OCD tendencies. Having said that, I have been known to pick up...while the kids are still playing with the toys...but I can usually laugh about that later (and I'm always working on letting go). It think it's sometimes 

necessary to wear matching pajamas:

   

 I believe in playing "supa he-woes" with materials at hand: 

 

and stopping for tea as necessary: 

 

 We co-sleep, we snuggle, we bond. Our children are an extension of us. I love the smell of their soft heads and the sound of their giggles. Going away without them feels about as natural to me as leaving my arm behind. I don't just miss them, I am literally disoriented without stepping over tiny people all day. I don't view that as unhealthy or co-dependent (but believe me, I've heard that and worse), but the natural path of being a mother. I make conscious efforts to maintain an independent identity - for me, that is easier said than done as a stay at home mother.

 However, as our children have grown, I have found more opportunities for "me time" (and that is a wonderful thing). I am outspoken and opinionated (I'm sure you've grasped that by now) - which is not to be confused with loud and obnoxious. I love a good debate - but not a pointless argument. Differences in opinion add spice to life and opportunities for growth. Discuss them, embrace them, learn from them and move on. We simply do what we feel is best for our children. That's it - I'm confident I've made many many mistakes. But instead of going about life scared of the damage I'm doing, I choose, instead to look at the growth I've facilitated.

 But best thing of all about parenting is (perhaps) that it is what you believe and what you make of it. There are plenty who disagree with our parenting style...lean in; listen closely: THAT'S OK!! Relax. Do what's best for you and your sweet miracles. I've never heard a mother say, "nah - I want my kids to be unhealthy, societal misfits who lack the ability and self reflection to care for themselves and function on even the most basic level. Please child, go play with your knives and other sharp objects now." I don't view our parenting differences as anything other than you doing what works for you, and us doing what works for our household. The only children I claim any sort of expertise on are my own. I am that mom: I buck "the system" as I see fit and think "outside of the box" to solve our household qualms. I am ok with being me - label of "crunchy", "attachment" or no. (For the record though, I think I'm just "Mom: doing the best I can".) 

My snuggly lovies: 

 

 xo, Heather

You can read more about Heather and her adventures as a mom here.