And then she was two.

Today, 

on the other side of the world, 

my daughter I have yet to meet turns two. 

It's such a strange feeling, 

loving someone so much whom I've never actually met. 

It's also hard for someone who loves birthdays as much as I do to think about the fact that there will be no cake, no presents, and no one celebrating her today. 

My arms literally ache to squeeze her. 

I can't wait until her birthday will involve candles, cake, and all the presents. 

But, so much bigger than that, I can't wait until I can tell her just how happy I am that she was born. 

I can't wait to be her day-to-day mom and do all the things that come with that--

 the good, the bad, and the messy. 

The way my heart longs from her--

I remember feeling this way when Hollyn was in my belly. 

There was one night towards the end of my pregnancy when I just cried and cried. 

I was SO ready to meet her and just wanted to hold her. 

(I was also obviously very hormonal. Bless it.)

That's how I feel now. 

I WANT her. 

I can't WAIT until she's here, with her family, in her home. 

My most precious Evie girl, 

YOU are celebrated. 

Happy two years, baby girl. 

And while we can't celebrate this one together, 

I pray that we will have many, many, many birthdays to spend together celebrating the gift that is YOU!

So, instead of focusing on the sad and allowing this to be a hard day, 

I'm instead focusing on the fact that this birthday you have a family who absolutely adores you and is praying for you and loving you and celebrating you from afar. 

I love you all the way to Africa and back, E.