Bees, Babies, and Bloom

This week has been intense. Lots of going and doing and planning and un-planning. More on that to come. But for now, I will work on summing up this week with three simple words: bees, babies, and Bloom. 

Let's start with the bees, shall we? 

 This adorable picture came from here; unfortunately, the bees I'm talking about weren't nearly this cute.

Let's just say that the bees have been the bane of  my existence since last Sunday when they showed up at our house....ready to party....and brought all of their friends......for an extended stay. Now don't get me wrong here, and heaven forbid don't call PETA, but the idea of having hundreds of bees swarming outside of our bedroom window and crawling in through the fan connection has made me a little squeamish and screamish. I like bees; I do NOT like bees in large groups hanging out in my backyard. And today we forked out some serious dinero to the tune of $240 to HOPEFULLY send the bees on their way. However, we still have to deal with removing the hive they've created from our roof, or attic, or wherever it remains hidden from sight. I certainly won't be crawling into the attic to find the bee hive. Volunteers for this job, however, are gladly accepted. I will pay you in cake balls. Please come quickly. 

On a another note, if you read my last post, you saw where I was thankful for my oldest friend (Heather) and her second pregnancy, which lasted significantly older than her first, which came to an abrupt halt at 24.5 weeks. 

Well, little did I know that while she was on my mind and I was writing about her, she was at the hospital having an EMERGENCY c-section that thankfully resulted in the birth of this adorable baby boy. 

Seriously, if I didn't have plans this weekend I'd be making a road trip to squeeze on him. And while I am SO THANKFUL for him and his health (even though he had a very scary welcome to this world), this has been a hard week. (You can read his birth story here. Warning: bring Kleenex and DO NOT READ it if you are currently pregnant. You and your hubby can thank me for that little tip later.) This may come across as selfish for me to say that I have had a hard week, as I have no way physically suffered from this and certainly am no where close to Heather and her family in terms of all they've endured this week. However, selfishly, I am so very sad for my friend. If you know me personally, you know that I am the kind of friend who truly carries the burdens of those I care about; it's not that I'm a worrier but rather a protector of those I love. If a friend has a problem, I have a problem too; I've always been that way and will probably always BE that way. And I'm a-okay with that. I love completely and fiercely and strongly, and I've come to realize that this is a good thing. But sometimes in loving so thoroughly, it sets me up for heartache,

 aka Heather's story this week. 

I literally remember the moment she first told me she was having triplets. I cried. She laughed. I sat staring at the computer screen for a long, long time. And then I remember talking to her when she knew they were coming soon...very, very soon. I sat at the kitchen table and cried and cried and cried for my friend. For you see, Heather is Mother Earth, and I'm Mother Not So Much. She is the greatest Mom I know and is truly the mom I most admire. And I so desperately wanted her babies to be alright and for her to have a good experience. Well, when that didn't happen,  my heart literally broke for my friend. I promise if you could wish something away for someone you love, I would have had that problem kicked in the first twenty-four hours. 

Well, when she told me she was pregnant with baby #4, I was equally overjoyed and terrified. It's not at all that I thought he (or she at the time) wouldn't be okay, it's just that I was desperate for her to have a good birthing experience. By GOOD, I simply meant non-traumatizing. I wanted her to have her baby in the most uneventful, classic, 'normal' (if there is such a thing) way possible and then to spend the next three days clutching her beautiful, fully developed baby and eating up every second spent with him or her. Instead, she had what is hands down the most traumatizing birth story I've ever heard. Her new son is going to be alright, but not after some time spent in the NICU. And I honestly hadn't slept well since his birth until I talked to Heather yesterday. She assured me that she was going to be fine, even though right now she's tired (Heather, I can tell you're tired even when you politely say, "No, I'm fine.") and very sore from all her body has been through in the past few days. Everett is doing better each passing minute, and her other two kiddos were thrilled to meet their baby brother yesterday, and for this I could not be more thankful. 

And yet, I'm sad for my friend; my wishes for her to have a happy birth experience are gone. And this is one of those times when I just have to have faith that God is control because to me, this seems so unfair. After all Heather went through with her first birthing experience, after the amazing care she takes of her body, after her having the most healthy eating habits of anyone I know, she still fell victim to the 1% chance she faced of having a uterine rupture. 1%. How is that even possible? We hear 1% and we don't even hesitate; we don't even blink. Hearing 1% gives us confidence and courage, but that Heather-- she takes the odds and apparently they laugh in her face.  And it hurts. It hurts me FOR her, so so so much. I have cried a bucketful of tears for my friend this week and have literally ached in wanting to trade places with her. She can have one of my birthing experiences, which all though Hollyn's was a dream, Libby's seemed bad at the time, but I promise it's nothing compared to this, and I'd gladly give it to her if I could. Accepting the fact that reality doesn't care about our hopes and wishes and dreams is really, really hard sometimes. If only we could wish and plead and will ourselves into getting exactly what we think is best. But, then I think about all the unexpectedness God has brought my way. All the times I THOUGHT I knew exactly what I wanted and what was best, when really He had something exponentially better waiting just around the corner. And although I can't see the sunshine through the clouds right now, I have faith that God will use Heather's experiences and strength to encourage someone else and help them believe in Him, because Heather and her babies are truly walking (or in Everett's case 'will be walking before we know it') miracles. 

Whew, okay now that I interrupt this cry fest to tell you that you need to invest some time this weekend indulging in this. 

I've been waiting for it to be in my hands since the moment I read between the lines on Kelle's blog that she was in fact writing a book. I started it Wednesday and finished it today. I literally had to force myself to take a break before the last chapter simply because I wasn't ready for it to be over yet. I wanted more. I didn't want to stop reading. It's so beautiful-- literally. It's outwardly the prettiest book I've ever seen and is packed full of her pictures. Her beautiful, story-telling pictures. But the beauty doesn't stop there; the story is raw and real and breath-taking. Yes, it's about her special needs daughter, but really, to me, it's just about being a mom and trying to keep your chin up and do the very best you possibly can no matter what your situation and circumstances may be. I literally felt like I was drinking in her words and crying right along with her. It's one of the most honest, heart-felt stories of motherhood I've ever heard. And I absolutely loved every stinkin' word on every stinkin' page. 

And it literally hurts me to hear so many people out there bashing here and her story, saying that she's not honest enough or living in a fairy-tale as opposed to reality. To those people, I really just want to know if you've ever spent any time with someone with that beautiful extra chromosome. If you've been around me a while, you know that at one point in my life I loved a little girl with that blessed extra chromosome like a sister. And I was friends with a lot of others with beautiful almond-shaped eyes and the biggest hearts I've ever known. And let me just tell you that they are some of the most amazing, kind, caring, WONDERFUL people. And if Kelle wants to focus on all that good that comes from loving a little girl with a little something special, then please get out of her way and let her do her thing. I think she is amazing and does a wonderful job of embracing the blessing she has been given. I personally believe the world has a lot to learn from her about unconditional love and honesty and embracing motherhood like it's the greatest gift ever. Because, if you want to be totally honest here, sometimes when I'm buried in laundry and cooking dinner and feeling guilty because I sent Libby to church with chipped toenail polish (thanks again for pointing that out, Mom), and have had all the whining I can take for one day, I need someone to remind to that motherhood is a gift. And Kelle Hampton does that for me. So please back up off of my encouragement and peddle negativity elsewhere; we're all stocked up here, thanks. 

And now that I've officially stepped away from the soapbox, I hope that you have a fan-tas-tic weekend. Mine will be filled with a reunion with some of my very favorite people. Here's hoping the bees don't migrate to your house and that your local bookstore has a copy of Bloom waiting for you.

Today I'm linking here. And if you made it through this novella of a blog post, you most be a loyal fan, and for that I am over-the-moon thankful.

5 Thanks: March

March was one awe-some month. Busy, but wonderful.

Choosing only five thanks this month was not an east task. However, I'm a girl who like a challenge, so here you go:

1. CREATED FOR CARE

Created for Care was exactly what I needed. It was a great time with some great people, including Andrea, the lady behind the fantasticness known as C4C. Thank you, Andrea, for all of your hard work. I was so blessed through your selfless actions and service towards me and the 450 other ladies who enjoyed spending the weekend with you.

2. SPRING BREAK

Spring break this year provided the perfect stay-cation opportunity for our family. Good times, good friends, and good memories abounded.

3. LIBBY'S SCHOOL PLAY

Pretty sure there's nothing my daughter loves me than being in the spotlight, and this year's school play did not disappoint. So, so proud to be her mom.

#4: 7

This book was exactly what I needed this month, making a perfect pre-Easter read. If you haven't already purchased your copy, would you mind telling me exactly what it is you're waiting for????

#5: ALMOST 40 WEEKS OF PREGNANT

If you're been around here for a while, then you're heard me talk time and time again about my oldest friend, Heather. A few years ago, she was pregnant with triplets and delivered at 24.5 weeks. Well, I am happy to report that she's carrying baby #4 and is almost in the home-stretch of this pregnancy. So very thankful; God is so good. You can follow her story here.

Here's hoping April gives March a run for its money in the goodness department.
And do tell-- what were YOU thankful for last month?

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Secret Church and Easter, All Rolled into One

On Friday night, Lee and I got the chance to experience the blessing that is Secret Church.

Long story short, Secret Church is a simulcast put on by David Platt, author of Radical. It's a six-seven hour long intensive Bible Study, meaning we were at church learning and praying and growing from 6pm to 1am. And it was wonderful. He holds Secret Church twice a year, and this time approximately 50,000 people around the world took part. And the prayer focus this time? The Horn of Africa, which includes Ethiopia. It was so good to know that so many people were joined in prayer for this nation and its people. If you ever have a chance to participate, I HIGHLY recommend it. David does an amazing job. He even managed to make me feel better about myself, seeing as how he's the only person I have ever heard who talks faster than I do. And in seven hours, I was NEVER bored, which is saying a lot because in college I had trouble keeping my ADD at bay for anything more than fifty minutes. I can't think of a better way to spend Good Friday than studying God's word.

A few highlights from my 215 page 'study guide' that we completed Friday night:

-"Man with all his shrewdness is as stupid about understanding by himself the mysteries of God, as {a donkey} is capable of understanding musical harmony." -John Calvin

-God' capacity to forgive is greater than our capacity to sin.

-Will we embrace our comforts, or will we embrace the cross?

-The ultimate reason suffering exists is to exalt the glory of God's grace through the suffering of God's Son for the salvation of undeserving sinners.

In other news, our family had a wonderful time celebrating this Easter weekend. Here are a few snapshots from our time together:

And most importantly, my weekend was made when Libby made this for me yesterday.

Talk about one proud momma. That would be me.

Here's hoping your Easter weekend was filled with blessing after blessing after blessing and that you're off of work today. We are making the most of every moment and are celebrating with Chinese food for lunch and a redbox movie. You?

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This Week in Instagram

1. The girl loves cookies; let's just say she gets it honestly...

2. Coffee--- love, love, love it, and it tastes even better when it comes from this cute cup. Cute cup=better coffee. Proven fact.

3. This book is amazing. It's been exactly what I needed this week and what perfect timing. Can't think of a better way to spend the week of Easter than drawing nearer to the One it's all about.

4. Gnomes make me happy. It's as simple as that.

Instagram feed: leemeandthegirls

Here's hoping your Easter weekend is filled with praise and worship.

 I'll be celebrating, egg hunting, and peep eating.

You too?

Let's be friends.

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Failing Miserably

See this face?

(Yes, it's mine; you are correct. No you can't have it; yes, I realize you'd probably never want....especially if you could see it all  up close and personal life. Can you say, "Wrinkles at thirty-two" ? I can.)

This is the face a girl who's failing miserably.

If you do recall, in January I choose a word for 2012.

My word for this year?

Simplify.  

Well, at four months in, I can already tell you that this has been a big, fat, fail in the most failiest of failing sense.

I genuinely want to be that mom who has time to sit and play Pictionary before bed, who can still do everything and be everywhere and be everyone to everyone.

Never gonna happen.

Who am I kidding?

My calendar is booked solid.

I literally don't have an open weekend until July...and even then I only have one available.

 It's teetering on the edge of ridiculous and tottering on the edge of borderline insane.

The truth is: I LIKE MY PLATE FULLER THAN MOST.

I was the girl in college who could take eighteen hours (five of them being lit. classes that required at least a novel per class per week...and don't even get me started on the papers I had to write. Trust me, you don't wanna go there.), hold an office (or two) in my social club (Your college may have sororities. Mine has social clubs. Tit for tat.), serve as an SGA senator, write for my college's newspaper, plan a golf tournament for charity, work out daily, watch all the TV my heart desired, make a 3.8 GPA for the semester, spend hours a day being silly and doing nothing, and still have time to spend hours giggling with my girlfriends. Granted I didn't sleep at all in college, but WHO CARED? Sleep was a thing you did when you were old.

Well, now I'm old.

I must sleep. Do you hear me? It's non-optional at this point.

But that's just it... everything in my life right now FEELS like it's non-optional. I love it all. There's nothing I feel like I can cut, hence the FAILING MISERABLY I mentioned earlier.

The problem is, I give so much of myself to my friends (whom I love), my Christian non-profit that I serve on a board for (never gonna stop loving this one. Don't even try to touch it. It's untouchable and completely and utterly non-optional), my household responsibilities (the cooking and cleaning and whatnot that one can only put on the back burner for so long), my other commitments in and about that I truly enjoy, trying to squeeze in time with my girlfriends (none of whom live close to me, I might add), and my job, that at the end of the day I feel like my kids and the hubby get what's LEFT instead of what's BEST of me.

Clearly, this is not okay.

It's not who I want to be or what I want to teach my kiddos.

I don't want to feel like my family time is something else for me to try to squeeze onto the last free line in my planner.

That is most definitely NOT how it is supposed to be.

I know this. I get it. I can see it clearly. I ever preach it to my friends.

But I stink at taking my own advice.

I was recently reminded of this when reading 7. I'm pretty sure that Jen Hatmaker wrote this section with me in mind. I overbook, overload, over plan. I give away way too much of myself to this and that and essentially leave what's left of me for God and my family.

I have to make it all work and keep juggling all of these balls in the air or I'm literally afraid they might all come crashing down around me. Pretty sure it'd take a St. Bernard or two to find me underneath all that I've got on my plate. You know- the one I like fuller than most.

I like to be busy.

I like to be involved.

I like to participate and sign up and volunteer.

But something's gotta give.

So, this is me trying (again) to prioritize. To say no. To cut back. To breathe. To plan everything around my time with God and my time with my family rather than vice versa. If no one is dying or bleeding, it's not an emergency. It can wait. It will be okay. The world will not end if I'm not in charge of that or if I let someone else take care of it.

*Note: If you see me out and about and hearing me chanting anything of things to myself, please just ignore me and walk the other way. I apologize in advance.*

So, my lovely readers. Thoughts on this? Advice? Do try to be kind, please.

 But I would love to hear how YOU make it work?

And if you don't make it work, share that too.

We can fail miserably together.

Libby: As of Late

Sometimes I swear my seven-year-old has a full-time, full-grown agenda all her own. She is seriously one busy kiddo. Does it ever end? Not at our house. It seems like no matter how we try to cut back or weed out, the busier we get. I digress. Anyway, here are some of the highlights of things that have been keep us smiling lately....busy, but smiling.

Dr. Seuss's birthday: Libby was Fern, complete with her very own Wilbur.

My little artist won second place in the first-grade coloring contest. In case you skipped first grade or simply don't recall, this is a BIG DEAL. We're talking huge. Gigantic. Enormous. Pretty sure this was a way bigger deal in our house than when I get named STAR teacher a few months ago. She even got free ice cream at lunch (aka best first grade prize ever in the history of first grade prizes).

And, most recently, was Libby's first grade play. In case there was any confusion, she was a spider. Whoever painted her face, thank you for using washable paint; we can be friends. She had a great time, and her teacher deserves a medal. And leave it to Libby...she not only learned her lines, but she learned ALL of the lines. She can literally recite the entire play...start to finish. Whoa. It's intense. The kid has a crazy insane memory. No clue where she gets that....okay so maybe I have a little clue, seeing as how I can still recall what I wore to my friend Amanda's ninth birthday party. Yup, totally serious.

Here's hoping your Monday felt more like Tuesday and that you have big plans for Easter. We always celebrate with my parents. You? And in case the Easter Bunny calls, what is YOUR favorite thing to get in your Easter basket? What's the best thing the Easter Bunny ever left for you....or the funniest? Do tell.

7: A Review

While I was at Created for Care, I picked up a copy of this book. It was the last one on the shelf, and I heard it calling my name from across the room. And now, after finishing it in two days, I want to make sure you don't miss out on the goodness that is 7.

This book is about what I suppose is best called an experiment by Jen Hatmaker. Over the period of ten months, Jen (and her family and friends) took part in seven, four-week ventures, each of which focused on cutting back on the excess in our lives and focusing on drawing closer to God.

Her 7 categories?

Clothes, shopping, waste, food, possessions, media, and stress.

The last one will be getting its own post later this week, but for now I want to share with you about why I loved this book. Do you ever feel like God sends you certain books at certain times in your life? This book came to me at THE PERFECT TIME, when cutting back on the fluff and focusing on the marrow is already at the fore-front of my mind. This book was great in that it not only encouraged me to cut back on the useless (or at least seemingly useless) excess that sometimes hoards all of our attention and focus on living a more Godly life.

Yes, please.

Some of the sentences I highlighted or underlined:

-Sometimes conviction is mistaken for guilt......

-"I like your Christ. I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ."

-I spend more just on clothes in one year than the average Ethiopian family earns in almost five.

-I'm tired of calling the suffering "brothers and sisters" when I'd NEVER allow my biological siblings to suffer likewise.

-There is something so marvelous about women comfortable in their own skin.

-We get one shot at living to expand the kingdom, fighting for justice.

-We like our stuff. We need our things. Usually the things we think we need become the very things we need a break from.

Curious yet? GO GET A COPY. ORDER ONE RIGHT NOW. RUN, DON'T WALK to the local library. The message Jen gives about the ways that LIVING is consuming our LIVES is undeniable; I am desperate for my life to be about more than the latest fashion trends, the popular new TV show, and keeping every restaurant in town in business. While the section on possessions literally had me debating leaving work early to hurry home and clean out every closet in my house, I was surprised by how much I learned from the section on waste. I certainly need to do more to take care the world in which I live. And like I said, the section on stress and my response to it, is getting its own post later this week.

This book confirmed the way I was already feeling. And to be honest, parts of it made me feel ashamed and even disgusted by where our (as a country) and my (as an individual) priorities are sometimes. It was a much-welcomed push in my life to make some much needed changes in my life.

If you read it or have read, please leave a comment letting me know what you thought. I'd love to hear how God used this experiment to broaden your horizon and draw you nearer to Him.

Next on my reading list? Crazy Love by Francis Chan. No, I haven't read it yet. Yes, I realize it's been out for quite a while. Again, I think God waited until NOW to put this book in my hands. We shall see.

Oh, and I officially paid a deposit today for my new blog design. Can't wait to get started on my new look! Any suggestions? What's the best looking blog you've ever seen? I would LOVE your ideas and thoughts on this.

Here's hoping your weekend was way less busy than mine; pretty sure I'll need to sleep until Tuesday to recover from this jam-packed weekend.